Barmy Britain: Bizarre-but-True Stories from Across the Nation

By Jack Crossley

This hilarious compendium of all that is extraordinary approximately lifestyles within the British Isles uncovers the eccentricity, strange forms, and outright oddity suggested during the last 12 months through the nation's newspapers. Jack Crossley spent a few forty years in Fleet road and is definitely the right better half to lead you thru this laugh-out-loud choice of anecdotes and unusual goings-on from round our reasonable isles. stories so outlandish, you would swear they might been made up. unusual symptoms, tortuous typos, hilarious headlines and the oddest obituaries: this glorious, inimitable miscellany celebrates all that's off-beat in Albion this day. even if the remainder of the scoop is doom-laden, the loads of snippets right here will not fail to elevate a laugh.

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She authorized viewers in the event that they wore the tall, purple gnome hats which she supplied. ‘Otherwise, the gnomes are embarrassed by way of humans watching them. this fashion, the gnomes imagine the viewers are only different, better gnomes. ’ Wall highway magazine Mike Madden, forty eight, went strolling within the woods close to Huddersfield, West Yorkshire, donning a bird-feeding hat entire with a tray filled with nuts. From the head of a tree, a wide gray squirrel took a flying bounce at Mr Madden’s hat. The impression knocked the fowl lover to the floor and he suffered whiplash accidents requiring him to put on a neck brace for per week. Mr Madden calls himself an inventor and offers his tackle as Crackpot Cottage. the days The e-petitions got on No. 10’s site exhibit a number of the oddball issues that excite the curiosity of the nice British Public. They comprise demands: laws to introduce a standard-sized umbrella. Spandau Ballet’s track Gold to be the hot nationwide anthem Yorkshire pudding to develop into the across the world recognized image of the North of britain. A financial institution vacation in reminiscence of the world’s oldest horse (Old Billy, which died in 1822 elderly at the very least 62). Frisbee to develop into an Olympic game. No. 10 does reject a few petitions. One was once a plea for mice to be allowed to go back and forth unfastened on public shipping – rejected no longer since it was once deemed frivolous, yet since it used to be ‘outside the remit or powers of the best Minister’. the days Sixty-nine year-old Peter Taylor of Hastings, East Sussex, writes within the day-by-day Telegraph: ‘I force an MGF 1. eighty one convertible Rover. while the hood is down I put on a felt hat with one facet became up and the flap garnished with seagull and flamingo feathers combined with sprigs from a long-stemmed ornamental flower’. day-by-day Telegraph 72-year-old Betty Rees of Solihull, West Midlands, drove an historical Ford Fiesta and purchased her outfits in charity outlets. She left �1. 2million to animal charities in her will – a few of it for donkeys in Egypt. day-by-day Mail A baked bean enthusiast who calls himself Capt Beany and paints himself orange has been declared an reliable vacationer charm in Port Talbot South Wales. South Wales night publish Joseph Leek of Hull wore moment hand outfits, lived in a dilapidated condo and watched his neighbour’s television to economize on electrical energy. whilst he died on the age of ninety he left �1. 1 million to the advisor canine for the Blind organization – a charity within which he had by no means proven any curiosity. He left his daughters not anything. the days A four-page leaflet has been released in Dundee giving recommendation at the most secure solution to take a seat at the bathroom. it truly is entitled solid Defecation Dynamics. From Richard Littlejohn’s e-book, Littlejohn’s Britain (Hutchinson �12. 99). day-by-day Mail A letter within the occasions learn easily: ‘Sir, whereas clearing the home of a deceased aunt we chanced on a field labelled, safely: “Pieces of string too brief to keep”’. This used to be through a spate of comparable letters, together with: ‘Years in the past, after the loss of life of my husband’s nice aunt, i discovered a tin labelled: “Old toffees.

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