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Extra info for Desert Notes and River Notes
I expected person grains of sand wasting their grip and tumbling into depressions, and that i moved at that second so my footfalls have been masked. I imagined myself in among those steps as silent as stone stairs, yet poised, just like the heron looking. during this approach i ultimately turned unknown even to myself (looking someplace out to sea for a flight of terns to pass). i'll then study myself as if I have been an empty abalone shell, held up in my very own palms, held as much as the wind to work out what kind of noise i'd make. I knew the sound—the sound of fish dreaming, twilight in a nonetheless pool downstream of rocks in a mountain river. I dreamed i used to be a salmon, hearing the noise of water in my dreaming, and during this means lower back, relocating within the cool night air wrapped in a camouflage of sound down the seashore (over a large ground of gray-streaked Carrara marble, bare) down the seashore (my pores and skin taut, each one muscle enunciated as delicate and dense underneath the surface as marble) as silent as snowing. There are birds the following. I carry in my middle an absolute sorrow for birds, a sorrow so deep that on the daybreak of day while I shiver like reeds clattering in a fall wind i don't comprehend if it is from the chilly or from this sorrow, no matter if i'm even able to feeling such kindness. i think definite, i'm. One wet wintry weather sunrise I stood underneath grey clouds with my palms upstretched, dripping in my gentle cotton outfits within the established ritual, observing the sand at my ft, approximately to shape a prayer, while I felt birds alight. I felt first the flutter of golden plovers opposed to my head, then black turnstones touchdown smooth as butterflies on my hands, and pink phalarope with their wild arctic visions, combating the wind to land, prickling my shoulders with their needling grip. Their unexpected windiness, the stiff brushing of wings, the international voices—murrelets alighting on my fingers, blinking, blinking yellow eyes, sanderlings, whimbrels, and avocets leaping at my facets. below them slowly, lower than heavy eider geese, underneath the burden in their flapping pleading, i started to head down. As I got here to my knees i'll believe such ache as needs to lie unuttered within the hearts of far-ranging birds, the load of visions draped over their soft bones. underneath the frantic, smothering wingbeats I recalled the birds of my early life. I had stoned a robin. i presumed the identify given the kittiwake very humorous. The afternoon of the day my mom died I lay on my mattress thinking about if i'd get her small teakwood trunk with the attractive brass fittings and its silver padlock. I coveted it in chilly contradiction to my exhibit of grief. Feeling anyone observing I rolled over and during the window observed sparrows watching me all explode like buckshot after our eyes met and have been long gone. while I woke up the sky had cleared. within the damp sea air i may odor cedar pollen. I washed in a freshwater pool the place a river broke out of the shore bushes, ran around the seashore, and buried itself within the breakers. I took talum roots on the pool’s aspect and beaten them opposed to the local stone to make one of those cleaning soap and commenced to clean.